My son asked me when we had stopped being his parents.
I am learning that parenting a child with addiction issues is counter-intuitive. “No” has become my go-to response. Will you pay my rent? Will you loan me money? Will you co-sign for me? Will you drive me somewhere?
Other late teen and adult children in our family get different answers to those questions based on their life choices. It is very hard to have different standards within my family but necessary. All of the parenting decisions have to be considered in light of each particular child’s needs. My son does not need my enabling. And “yes” would most often feed into his current distorted reality.
The mindset of a good parent is to help their child grow into a productive, happy, healthy, responsible human. Sometimes, what feels like the opposite of parenting is actually parenting at its hardest and best.