Can we wish each other a “happy” new year?…Well it is a “new” year after all…so we can rearrange things in our hearts, heads, bodies, and time…as humans we LOVE new beginnings, second chances, new opportunities…not sure we have a new “beginning” here though, today… with our children…that’s up to them, their paths…but yes, we can work on ourselves…and we can wish each other love, and support, deeper friendship, peace, plus more… and I wish all that for you!
In terms of “resolutions”…hummmm…. I’m trying to find 3 words that can anchor me this year (why 3? I read some blogger’s idea about this a few years ago, and it stuck with me!)… words that can guide my moments of choice, or trigger a mental association that will prompt me to make a better choice in this coming year (starting today!) and words that can apply to more than one dimension. I’m thinking of starting with a word like “Here” which is so simple, but it can remind me to be present, something I can use everywhere whether I’m in the car, working, or at the store deciding on food.
“Flow”, and/or “Practice” are 2 others I’m thinking about. I’ve been pretty chaotic, haphazard, impulsive, reactionary and maybe a word like flow, can help me reach the state I want/wish I was in…reminding me to look at, and chose/dedicate time to be living and working on the most important stuff and eliminating distractions. Have a more calm “flow” where I’m comfortable throughout the day that I am going in the right direction. It’s been so incredibly exhausting getting pulled away from anything and everything I start to dream/work/focus on… getting yanked out of my days…as I chase, follow, pull, grasp after my child …where is MY path?
When I think back to when I was younger, “practice” meant getting better. My parents drilled this belief into me, and I’m grateful for this. Anything I’ve ever accomplished in my life, from playing the piano, to sketching, to designing, to cooking, gardening, reading, writing, marketing…has been with and through practice…practice also means “strength” for me. It leads to confidence.
Recently (past several years) I have NOT practiced, I’ve “worked” at things that I’m already good at, and have stayed afloat because I know how to swim but I haven’t had the time, energy, or desire to “practice”. These 5/6 years have left me depleted…getting up in the mornings on autopilot, doing what is necessary to stop, catch, or attempt to change my son’s course with the one goal of keeping him alive…going to bed at the end of the day was like that last bit of physical effort in plugging in my iPhone. I’ve been a dead battery that needed more juice. Nothing more, nothing less…hoping tomorrow I would be charged up—somewhat…although the 100% was always way down even before noon!
So, maybe the word Practice might mean that I can remember to do DAILY what needs doing. Not just what needs fixing/reacting to, but actually DOING (whatever the circumstances that are going on outside of me). I can maybe start to re-look at all of my larger efforts in life as the results of the work I can accomplish through taking the time to practice (nice wish, right??).
And what do I want to practice? Love, good choices, meditation (being calm, prayer), being present, being honest, being quiet, allowing, being less judge-y, being more calm. Did I mention calm?? So, yes, I will wish you a Happy New Year!